HI JAAN

 
Living without u is like killing myself slowly
but this time I'm going to do it.
Let me kill myself once and for all
cause I see u least bothered about me
whether I talk or not
whether I am with u or not
It was very very difficult to see u on line and stop myself talking to you
My hands went straight to the mouse
to click your name
but I stopped myself all the time
then sent you the poems
ull have to bear with me for a few more days as I am so used to sending you poems
and writing for you
that it will take time to train my heart
for not doing it 
I logged off in the night
so that I could not see u on line
then went to sleep on this chair
whole night I was here in front of the com in this cold 
I wish I could froze to death instead of bearing this agony
I am not complaining you about any thing
I'ts just that I'm so used to telling you everything
that it will take time to restrict my soul according to your wishes
just now I woke and saw the time it was seven in the morning
You must have left now
drive carefully always
till your wife comes to take care of you 
I want you to be safe always
the most worst part of all this was Jaan 
u never stopped me from going away
good I know my worth now
I'ts going to hurt me tremendously but I have to face the reality too
I'll try my best not to call you and not to msg you too
but if I do it by mistake then pardon me
and pray that I too become like you
and take the decisions according to the given time
without repenting for any thing thats lost
and follow your foot steps of no regrets 
I dont know how i'll spend these holidays
but i'll try my best
to be happy go lucky
and hope the year 2004 brings rays of hopes for you and for me too
Take care always
This com will not be here by the next weekend.I have decided to send it back
you pray for me that I walk on what you have decided for me to do

LUBAINA 
lubsraaj2004@yahoo.co.in